Acceptance occurs when we reach the beautiful moment of shedding the expectations of ourselves that often accompany aspects of our lives, such as parenthood, relationships, careers, and personal standards. In these moments, we begin to recognize that, despite our best intentions, we are not always in control. Sometimes, we can’t wash the dishes before we go to bed, or we forget a meeting we were supposed to attend. Life is hard, and we make mistakes. However, embracing these imperfections is not only acceptable but essential. This is why we need to master the art of acceptance. Today, we turn to a look at acceptance, the second installment of our VALUES CAN INSPIRE positive psychology series.
Accepting things as they are can be hard for anyone. It is difficult to come to terms with the fact that some things just can’t be changed, no matter how hard we try. I know that I struggle with this all too often.
For moms, accepting things as they are may be especially difficult, given the limits of time, energy, and resources that come alongside motherhood. Getting your work done, attending to your children’s needs, performing daily tasks, and addressing your wants can feel all-consuming at times. Sometimes in our lives, we simply will not be able to complete everything we need to the standard we want. Not meeting our expectations can be hard, and it may increase our feelings of guilt and even shame. But that is why we have to work towards a mindset of being content with what we have the capacity to offer, as well as who we are.
One of the best tools to have in your toolkit for life is the ability to accept things exactly as they are. Sometimes, things don’t go to plan, and the easiest way to resolve the feelings of discomfort or frustration that come with life’s mix-ups is to whip out your skill of acceptance.
Along with the desire to change things to better suit us comes the inability to recognize what is good enough. When was the last time that you said to yourself, “I am good enough”? Probably a long, long time ago, right? Whether you are leading a presentation at work, dropping your kid off at daycare, or trying to meet your partner’s needs, there is a chance that, from time to time, you don’t see your efforts as acceptable for others or for yourself.
The adage “Bad people don’t worry about being bad” can be modified and applied to our scenarios of acceptance: those who aren’t doing enough don’t worry about not doing enough. If your anxiety is telling you that you need to work harder and do more to increase your intrinsic value, that should be a sign that you are enough. Perfectionism is a common culprit here. At Mothers Lead the Way, we encourage you to challenge the inner voice that you have to be perfect to have value. You are enough even when you are embracing being good enough!
Self-esteem and self-compassion also play a major role in the acceptance mindset. We will cover these topics later on in this series, so stay tuned!