In our first installment on Hope, we discussed the benefits of hope. Last week, we expanded our discussion to include how to utilize techniques from Hope Therapy within our relationships with a partner to improve our communication. But how would this work with your child?
Let’s take a common scenario: your child is struggling with homework and feels discouraged as you try to balance your work commitments and your desire to support your child.
According to Hope Therapy, our first step is to identify goals. In this example, we have an opportunity to work together with our child to set goals for each of us. We could set a personal goal to manage our time and stress more effectively while supporting our children. We could also work with our child to set a realistic goal related to their homework, such as completing assignments more efficiently or understanding a specific subject better.
The second step we would want to take is to encourage our personal and our child’s belief in our abilities. Remind yourself of your ability to overcome challenges at work and home. Posting a sign that says, “I’ve navigated tough times before, I can do it again,” can be helpful. By role modeling this process, it will then be easier to boost your child’s confidence. Highlight their past successes, no matter how small. Encourage them by saying things like, “Remember when you figured out that math problem after trying a few times? You can do this too!”
As we move to step 3, we want to consider ways to develop pathways that will help us reach our goals. For your goal, identify areas where you could be more efficient at work to free up time for your child without compromising your responsibilities. Are there tasks you are doing that are not necessary? If so, you may need to take a small break from these extra responsibilities. Make sure that you are building in time for short breaks. Why? This will help you avoid burnout and ensure that you have the energy to support your child.
When working with your child, there are several things you can do to help them be successful in reaching their goal. As you consider your daily schedule, establish structured homework time. The daily routine for homework can help it feel less overwhelming. You can also help your child break tasks into smaller steps. A discussion of how to break down homework into smaller, more manageable parts decreases the stress and helps your child feel like they are progressing toward their goal. A third pathway is to seek additional resources such as online tutorials, homework clubs, or tutors, if necessary and feasible. Remember your tribe. Is there someone who can help you and your child? Many people love to help children understand something that they are passionate about.
As you are exploring these pathways, remember that you can be flexible and may need to adapt. Being prepared to adjust your strategies based on what is working and what is not is critical to success. If a particular study technique isn’t helping your child, be open to trying something new. Similarly, if a work task becomes too demanding, seek support or delegate where possible.
By role modeling hope and incorporating key principles, we help to manage our own and our child’s overwhelming feelings. We also foster a hopeful, positive environment at home that not only encourages academic growth in our child but our personal growth as working mothers.
Finally, celebrate your progress! Recognize and celebrate every small victory with your child, enhancing their motivation and confidence. Similarly, acknowledge your own efforts to balance work and parenting, reinforcing your sense of achievement. A quick woohoo and dance party makes even the smallest wins feel more significant. Let us help celebrate you by posting one of your wins on Instagram by using the hashtag #MLW and tagging us @positiveleadhership.
References and further reading:
Cheavens, J. S., & Whitted, W. M. (2023). Hope therapy. Current Opinion in Psychology, 49, 101509.
Lopez, S. J., Floyd, R. K., Ulven, J. C., & Snyder, C. R. (2000). Hope therapy: Helping clients build a house of hope. In Handbook of Hope (pp. 123-150). Academic Press.