For today’s blog, we are discussing empathy and how kindness and perspective-taking benefit everyone involved. We can all remember a time when we were moving through a difficult situation, perhaps the loss of a loved one, financial issues, or relationship obstacles. These topics can be difficult to broach. It is during these moments that we all crave kindness and empathy. We long for someone to listen and try to understand.
Children move through similar situations. Trite issues for adults could be impactful to a child. Poor grades, arguments, simple mistakes, are examples of situations where children require empathy. With the right tools, we can ensure they feel understood.
Sometimes, we confuse empathy with sympathy. Sympathy typically only includes feelings of sadness or pity toward others, while empathy is more complex. When you feel or express empathy, you identify with another person’s emotions (regardless of what they are) and express that you understand them. This process of understanding allows you to look at their situation from an outside perspective. By doing so, you are providing emotional support for the other person and learning more about yourself, as well. Remember when we talked about emotional intelligence during the Values Can Inspire series? Empathy is a key component of that!
Perspective-taking is the first step toward generating empathy. In order to be empathetic toward another person, we must put ourselves in their shoes. We must consider what they are dealing with and try not to minimize or invalidate that experience. It is important to note that understanding another person’s perspective does not mean that you agree with that perspective.
What does this culture look like in action? Well, follow the scenario below as we identify how these empathetic practices enhance our life.
- There have been many mornings when my child has fought me on getting ready for school. This morning, instead of picking out her outfit, the situation that tends to receive the most rebellion, I allowed my daughter to be a part of the process. Giving my daughter the opportunity to be a part of the decision-making process released much of the frustration both of us felt. Instead of telling, I simply asked, “What is it you’d like to wear?” While it took a minute for her to recognize that she was given a choice in this situation, she expressed to me what her favorite shirts and pants were. Taking in the excitement she felt while also working towards compromise on the outfit when it was all over, I assured her she looked absolutely amazing and that she could be proud of herself for being so helpful.
Real life isn’t always as pretty as the example above, but empathy allows us to separate ourselves from the strength of our own emotions and focus on understanding the other person’s perspective.
- With our children, it helps build their confidence to communicate their own needs to us and help us navigate how to meet them.
- With our coworkers, empathy allows us the professionalism to view situations more objectively and focus on how to solve whatever the issue is at hand while doing our best to meet both sides’ needs.
- Within ourselves, empathy keeps us from swirling in the emotions day-to-day situations cause and can give us the break we need to assess our own worlds.
We recognize that there are situations where it can be especially difficult to communicate when involved in disagreements. Nurturing your empathy will leave you better equipped to move through those especially difficult disagreements. Learning and instilling healthy practices with your children and within your home is an ideal place to begin cultivating your empathy and perspective-taking skills. We invite you to learn more! Follow more MLW content, such as the Mindfulness podcast, to help you get in the mindset to better navigate your life with empathy!
References & Further Reading
Decety, J. (2007). Perspective taking as the royal avenue to empathy. In Malle, B.F., & Hodges, S. D. (Eds.), Other minds: How humans bridge the divide between self and others. Guilford Press.
Webb, J. B., Rogers, C. B., Etzel, L., & Padro, M. P. (2018). “Mom, quit fat talking—I’m trying to eat (mindfully) here!”: Evaluating a sociocultural model of family fat talk, positive body image, and mindful eating in college women. Appetite, 126, 169-175. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2018.04.003