Hey moms! Welcome back to our journey through the world of Social and Emotional Learning (SEL)! In the previous upload, we introduced how SEL can enhance and reinforce the connection between you and your child, as well as your child’s interactions with the world. Throughout this journey, we hope to equip you with the tools you need to nurture your emotionally intelligent and resilient children.
While there are some myths regarding SEL, we will begin by introducing you to the cold hard facts. So, let’s roll up our sleeves and start with understanding the basics – the five core competencies of SEL: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision making.These competencies will set the stage for what we have in store for the next few weeks!
- Self-Awareness:
Self-awareness is the first of the core competencies of SEL. This concept encompasses your child getting to know themselves, the feelings they have, and why they have them. Imagine your child realizing, “I feel sad because my friend didn’t include me in their game.” That’s self-awareness in action! This competency involves recognizing and understanding our emotions and thoughts. By helping your child identify their feelings and the reasons behind them, you’re setting the stage for them to develop a strong emotional foundation.
- Self-Management:
Our next competency is self-management. This concept is all about the agency your child has. When children are self-aware and notice a need to regulate themselves, followed by an action to get themselves back to their baseline – that is self-management. Remember the time your little one took a deep breath and counted to ten when faced with a challenging situation? Instead of throwing a tantrum and crying, they were able to calmly say that they needed help! That’s the beauty of self-management. This competency teaches children how to regulate their emotions, manage stress, and navigate through life’s twists and turns. As if it were a little emotional life jacket, this skill will continue to help our kiddos stay afloat against any daunting high tides.
- Social Awareness:
Social awareness is another competency of SEL. This takes the last two competencies a step further by not only noticing emotions and feelings in themselves but by understanding that people around them can and do have needs as well. Picture your child observing their friend’s gloomy expression and saying, “Are you okay?” That simple yet meaningful question is social awareness shining through. This competency involves understanding and empathizing with the feelings of others. By nurturing your child’s social awareness, you’re cultivating the seeds of kindness and compassion that will flourish in their interactions with the world.
- Relationship Skills:
The next competency is relationship skills. Essentially, your child is taking all the previously mentioned SEL skills and utilizing them all together to form healthy relationships with their peers. Remember that time you caught your child negotiating their toys off to a friend? That’s them flexing their relationship muscles! This competency centers on effective communication, active listening, and conflict resolution. As you guide your child in building healthy connections, you’re giving them the tools to create strong bonds that withstand the test of time.
- Responsible Decision-Making:
Last but not least, responsible decision-making is the final competency of SEL. The title is self-explanatory but encompasses the ability to think and plan ahead. Do you believe your child is able to think through their actions and understand that there can be consequences to the choices they make? Visualize your child weighing the pros and cons before choosing to share their favorite snack. That’s responsible decision-making in action. This competency involves teaching kids to consider the consequences of their actions and make choices that align with their personal/taught values. It’s all about setting them up for a lifetime of making thoughtful and ethical decisions.
So moms, these five core competencies are, at heart, the fundamental building blocks of emotional intelligence. Through them, we can empower our children to navigate the complexity of emotions, relationships, and decision-making. As we journey through this series, we’ll explore practical ways to cultivate each of these competencies in our everyday interactions with our kids.
Ready to dive deeper? Stay tuned for our next blog, where we’ll explore ways to foster self-awareness and self-management in our children. Together, we’ll create an environment where emotional growth is celebrated, and emotional resilience becomes second nature. In the meantime, how can you integrate one of these SEL competencies into your next week?
References & Further Reading
CASEL – Core Competencies of SEL
The Gottman Institute – Emotional Awareness in Children
Harvard Graduate School of Education – Self-Management Skills
Greater Good Magazine – Teaching Kids Empathy
Raising Children Network – Relationship Skills in Children
Edutopia – Teaching Responsible Decision-Making
CASEL. (2023, March 3). What is the Casel Framework?. CASEL. https://casel.org/fundamentals-of-sel/what-is-the-casel-framework/
Owenz, M. (2021, February 3). How to strengthen your child’s emotional intelligence. The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/strengthen-childs-emotional-intelligence/
Keltner, D. (2024). Empathy. Greater Good. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/empathy
Explore SEL. (n.d.). http://exploresel.gse.harvard.edu/terms/471
Positive relationships for parents and children: How to build them. Raising Children Network. (2023, July 4). https://raisingchildren.net.au/newborns/connecting-communicating/bonding/parent-child-relationships
Valenzuela, J. (2021, June 25). A tool to help students make good decisions. Edutopia. https://www.edutopia.org/article/tool-help-students-make-good-decisions/